Social interaction

I find it harder and harder to engage in normal social interaction, these days. I hope I am not alone. I find people increasingly weird, boring, stupid, and inapproriate. The kind of social unease that only used to taunt me at parties when I was in my twenties is slowly creeping back.

It is unfortunate, for me, that society expects older people (as long as they are not senile old) to have more social grace than youngsters. It frustrates me as I become increasingly aware of my incompetence in this regard, and I have been trying to figure out some way of coping with it.

I have tried to smile when I do not feel like smiling. It seemed to have worked for a while, but when I by chance catch a glimpse of my reflection doing my fake smile, it is always clear that I am a fake. And that is condesending. Looking bewildered and bored might be better?

When I was not faking my smile, when I am with people whom I find boring or stupid or strange, I can feel my face showing every emotion every thought. And I think to myself, oh com'on now, either hide it, or be more forgiving. Your contemptuous facial expression should be erased, NOW.

My latest strategy is to think happy thoughts when in such situations.